My Reason
by Summing up the Stars
Summary: Why Kai always returns to Voltaires side from his own point of view. Kai angst! Please RR!


Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
A/N-  
  
I was just reading the episode summaries for Beyblade G Revolution and Kai goes evil *again*. I love his character but come on. He's bad he's good he's bad he's good he retires he comes back he's good he's bad he's good he retires again he comes back he's bad he's good then he's bad again! WTF?  
  
I'm also using Kai's parents from the manga (with my own twist!)  
  
The lines from the song My Reason (not full) are from Linkin Park.  
  
/flashback, Explanation things/  
  
//song lyrics//  
  
*****  
  
"We've put up with this for a long time now, and we care for you but ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! Why do you keep turning on us Kai? WHY?!"  
  
Kai's impassive eyes stared right back into Tyson's outraged blue ones. He didn't need to look up to know that Rei's, Max's, and Kenny's eyes reflected the same thing.  
  
Inside though Kai was dying. He was breaking down, and outside he *couldn't* show it. Not dignifying Tyson with an answer, he turned on his heel and left.  
  
*****  
  
Outside the rain hit the pavement with tremendous force, it seemed to be literally coming down in buckets.  
  
But Kai couldn't care less, head slightly bent eyes hidden by wet bangs he continued walking on.  
  
'Why?'  
  
That was the question Tyson through at him. Kai let out a bitter chuckle. 'I bet all the teams would like to know the answer to that.'  
  
So why did he continue returning to the people who use and belittle, and beat and batter people, kids, and teens - like him...  
  
'Why?'  
  
Kai shook his head. He couldn't get that question out of his head!  
  
How many times had he thought about just telling them?  
  
How many time's had he been forced to ignore the hurt looks and the glares?  
  
Sometimes he believed it would be easier to just tell them!  
  
'Why I always return....'  
  
But he couldn't. It's not possible if they don't want everything they, no *HE*, worked for to crumble and fall.  
  
'I run as far as I can but I can't fully escape because....'  
  
Yes, it was true. His entire life was an act. All of it. Well, maybe not all of it....  
  
/It started when he turned six, his mother had died when he was born so he never got to know her, but as odd as it sounds, it didn't matter to him, not at that age - and at his age now, he just didn't have the time to care, his father always took care of him, always put him first. Perhaps if his father didn't do that, perhaps if he was just a bit more distant and worked a bit more then spend time with him, then maybe Voltaire - he refused to call that *thing* his 'grandfather!- wouldn't have *told* ,not *offered* but *told*, his father that he was going to work on the world domination project in Bio-Volt, and that he wanted Kai to be their specially trained warrior./  
  
Kai sighed and stopped walking looking upwards into the falling rain.  
  
/Maybe then Voltaire wouldn't have had his father killed when he refused. They didn't know Kai was listening, on his way to find his father to show him a new beyblading move./  
  
Kai took Dranzer out of his pocket and studied the blue beyblade. His blessing. His curse.  
  
/It was not long after that he was taken to the abbey. And hell began. Two years later, at eight years old, he faked his memory loss and got out of there. When he got to Japan again it was something closely resembling hell, Voltaire was ruthless. But then he met Stanley Dickinson. At Eight years old, Kai Hiwatari, started acting out his 'life'./  
  
Kai let his breath out in a harsh sigh. How he wanted nothing more then to throw the blue beyblade in his hand down onto the wet pavement and stomp on it. But he couldn't do that. Not yet. Not until he and the rest of the special force BBA officials take out Bio-Volt.  
  
He cannot tell anyone. So it's for the best if he makes the rest of the teams hate him. He doesn't have to worry about 'friends'.  
  
Kai shook his head, feeling the drops that shook out to be replaced more water. Who was he kidding? He already worried for them.  
  
'I wish.....'  
  
Kai closed his eyes as he tilted his head up into the pouring rain again.  
  
'I run as far as I can yet I can't fully escape because...because.....'  
  
'Father....'  
  
Kai turned and looked in the direction of the building he had walked away from, before closing pained eyes and turning away.  
  
'Forgive me'  
  
Kai opened his eyes and practically felt them freeze as wall after wall rose.  
  
'I wish it were different....'  
  
'Forgive me....'  
  
//I've been stripped of my innocence  
  
I take pity in myself  
  
A certain chain of events  
  
That has left me in this hell  
  
I need to find a reason  
  
To live this way  
  
I'm running out of patience  
  
And my life is over  
  
I'm standing here  
  
But I'm on my way  
  
Searching to find an answer  
  
I'm standing here  
  
But it's all the same  
  
And I'm running out of patience//  
  
*****  
  
End  
  
*****  
  
A/N-  
  
..........OO.......*twiddles thumbs* Sooooooo? What do you guys think? Hello? Anyone?  
  
Good? Bad? Indifferent?  
  
Please R/R! 


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